Here at Valley 101 headquarters, white-coated lab technicians have been working round-the-clock to answer one of the greatest questions ever to cross the Valley 101 transom:

Do your feet get bigger when you move to the desert?

You know, we spent hours flipping pancakes, doing day labor, weeding soybeans to get through college, followed by years of crawling over the broken reputations of colleagues and competitors to arrive at a place of relative safety in journalism, and it comes to this: Do your feet get bigger when you move to the desert?

Here at the Valley 101 Research Center and Windshield Squeegeeing Service, we have amassed a collection of three questions about saguaros, those noble cactuses that symbolize Arizona just as surely as do recall elections.

And we now endeavor to answer these queries with, as always, the help of Patrick Quirk of the Desert Botanical Gardens, who has forgotten more about saguaros then you’ll ever know.